I just 'popped' in here because I have a friend who is now going through a tough time in her marriage, which reminded me of my time a year ago. I just wanted to pass on to anyone that is struggle that DON'T GIVE UP!!!
You can turn things around, you can make things work, but in order to do that, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be honest with yourself, and really do the work, be PATIENT, the steps are so essential.
It was a year ago that I was on this very forum, confused, and utterly devastated about what was happening to my marriage, my life. Since that time, things have so turned around and I have never been so happy. The blame game is over, the resentment has been resolved, and my husband and I are truly working together- again.
You can not expect a miracle to happen over night, but miracles do happen when you truly stop and focus on your self. My confidence is stronger than before, and my DH's is so much more confident in himself. Our marriage is stronger than it's ever been, and we truly are laughing and enjoying each other's company again. Communication is so essential, but you can't force it!!!!! So, please, be patient, read DR, and really think about your part and work the steps.
