I've decided to go to moms for the weekend and let H have quality time with his S. Sad, I like S too. We would have had a good time. I just got home and am leaving again. (sigh) But, that's what you call detaching and GAL right? Taking my dogs though. They love to go to G'mas and get spoiled. Mom doesn't have internet, so I won't be on for several days. I will miss talking to you guys. Taking my laptop though. I wouldn't want H getting curious. lol
In the long run of things, you are probably doing the right thing. Detachment for you is important right now. When you are able to do that, then you will be better prepared to think more clearly. Hope you enjoy your visit. Bet it will do you good to be with your mother. I don't know what I would do without mine. After I was grown, I learned that she is my BFF!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I came home this afternoon (tuesday) and stepson was still here. He seemed happy to see me and we talked all afternoon. At about 6:00 the home phone rang and I answered it without thinking to look at the caller ID. H was not home yet. I said hello twice without anyone saying anything on the other end. I then thought to look at the ID, and it was the skank, so I hung up quickly. (H has her in the handset directory in our home phone. I took it off once, but he put her back in! Grrr... Usually I never pick up that phone, but we had been busy talking.) I was so pissed that she had the nerve to call here. She probably thought I was still out of town, and called to talk to my step son. So... obviously he must have met her. Grrr.... I told him whoever it was hung up on me, and I think it was a friend of his dads. I wanted so bad to tell him everything his dad has been up to, but I didn't. Twenty minutes later the phone rang again, it was H. I answered J residence, MJ speaking. H asked why are you answering like that, and I told him because I was hung up on twenty minutes ago. I did not tell him by who. He got pissy with me, and told me to put his S on the phone. S talked for a minute, and then handed the phone to me and said he wants to talk to you. H then asked me if I would like to go to dinner with them. I asked if it will be just the three of us, and he said yes. I don't know what prompted me to ask that, but I did. So, I went.
I asked if we should take my car. (I didn't want to go in his suv. I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting where she must sit.) H said we will take the suv. Uh Oh! He opened the door for me, and I got in. I tried so hard not to think about where I was sitting. I was so strong. I hadn't been in H suv in months. I nonchalantly looked around, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. No signs of skank. He was playing young music on the radio. Not at all like he used to listen to. Grrr....
We arrived at the restaurant, and he ran around and opened the door for me. WOW! We had a nice dinner, and conversation was friendly. Although I kinda felt an uneasyness about him. Sure, he probably had stepson out with skank the other nights, and now with stepmom. H asked where I was the past couple of days, and I said uh... long pause... then I told him where I had been. He also asked me where I went on vacation. H was brave in front of S.
We then came home. H went to bed in guest room of course. Stepson on couch. I wonder what stepson is thinking. I wonder what lies he has told him. I wanted so bad to talk with stepson, and tell him what was really going on, but I didn't. It's his dad. I left it alone. It will come out eventually, but not by me.
I thought I did a great job of DBing tonight. I made sure to look really cute. I had on a short skirt,w/ summery top. My hair was even looking really cute tonight. I thought.( sorry, I don't mean to sound too arrogant here, lol) I was bubbly, but not in a fake way.
H acting very pissy towards me this morning. He usually takes the dog for a walk in the morning, but this morning he went for a walk and left the dog behind. The poor dog seemed so confused. Probably had to talk to skank about last night. Redeem himself. He just left for work, he said good-bye to S but ignored me. I feel this hatred towards him, but at the same time it hurts. He wants to be with and is into skank. I am not skank, so he is not interested in me. (sigh).
Understandable, but just realize he is asserting control over you when he can affect your emotions (anger, sadness). Be tough and do something nice for yourself.
Well, step son is gone. We had a nice visit again this morning after H left for work. I was hoping he would ask me about his dad and me, but he didn't. He is 28 yrs old, and a smart boy. Hopefully he can see what really is going on especially if he was around ow. I think he was, or she wouldn't have called here on the home phone. Probably thinking I was still out of town. OOPS... I was home! lol
H called to see if his son got off alright. He was cordial, but I was friendly/bubbly. I told him son left a little later than he wanted because we were having a nice visit. Which was very true. I made sure to give him my cell # and email address before he left. I will miss him.
H is going on vacation for ten days. I don't know if skank is going or not. He had the Harley apart last night cleaning it up, so looks like he is going on the bike. We have a beautiful touring bike that we would take on many trips.This morning I went out into the garage to see if he had packed it yet. I opened the side bag that I used to use, and I found a shirt. A red, button down, short sleeved, womans shirt. I was heartbroken. My first thought was to cut that shirt up, or destroy it in some way. I called a good christian friend of mine and she told me not to do anything bad to it. She told me to anoint it, and the bike, and pray that a wedge would be put between them.
Another thing that breaks my heart... We used to have two other couples we would ride with and go on trips with. Last year we all went to Sturgis together. I told the wives at the time I thought H had ow. They were surprised I would even think such a thing. We always had so much fun together. Since H rides the bike and no longer takes me along we have lost contact. I have heard through the grapevine that they have taken her in, and they all ride together now. I don't know what he has told them, lies I'm sure. If I had been one of the other wives, I would have contacted the betrayed wife and ask what was going on. AND, not want to ride with the cheating H and his skank. I'm having a hard time seeing how they welcomed her in. They may all be going together somewhere. (sigh)
I've thought about planting something on the bike to make skank jealous. Any suggestions? lol
Any advice for getting through this next week would be appreciated.
