Sounds like you know what you are doing. People on this board like to say that they are hitting each other with a 2x4, like a piece of wood, to give them a correction. But you are right. It is better to have some sex than no sex. Once you let the sex go, the relationship becomes almost impossible to fix. The only professional advice you get around here is from the DB coaches. Everyone else is just another troubled soul trying to be helpful. You have to judge the value and usefulness of the advice for yourself. Each of us is the best judge of our own situation and how to deal with our spouse. It is good to be careful and think carefully about advice before you take it. After all, you will live with the consequences.
