Dear Stuck808: I appreciate your responses, but why such the negativity? Are you divorced?
I believe I have been DB-ing because although my wife has threatened divorce and separation that I have encouraged supporting whatever will make her happy, we are still married, together under the same roof with our kids...for whatever the reason she is still here therefore I believe I am still achieving my ultimate goal of remaining married and not divorcing.
I don't believe I am begging for sex. I attempt to initiate from time to time because sometimes she actually is receptive. I too thought that stopping was a good idea which is what I did for several months, but the DBing coach suggested that still attempting sex was a good idea because it is an effort in intimacy and sparking the fire, therefore I continue to attempt from time to time.
I don't know for a fact that she still has the OM. It is of course possible, but I have no proof, she is not admitting even after I ask her. The DBing Coach also said to not think about this. Once again, if she truly had OM and the opportunity to move out why wouldn't she have already? Of course I don't want to have sex with her if she is with the OM, but I just don't know.
How do you do an in-house separation, you mean like I sleep on the coach or ask her to? We already rarely speak unless it is about work or kids.
I do agree that it appears that she is "sneering down" and or "belittling" me. This is obvious in her tone of voice, her consistant criticism, her lack of initiating conversation, affection, etc. This is something I would like to change, but I am not sure how. When I stand up to her criticism it just becomes an escalating angry screaming argument that usually would take place in front of the children, so I avoid this. In many cases, I attempt to revisit these conversations at a later time when we are away from the kids and then she doesn't want to talk.
I still don't understand what you mean about showing respect for myself and taking control back from her. Does that mean I argue everytime I disagree? Does that mean I leave the house when I disagree? I already feel confident. I feel attractive. I feel healthy. I am happy with my life at work, with the kids, my home, it is just that I want her back the way she was. If you are suggesting ignoring her would achieve this, then I will try again.
