Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

When a WAW is cake eating, she will be affectionate as if she isn't in an EA/PA (which ever the case). She may act as if all is fine on the home front. She will basically (I think) act as she ordinarily would and that is why a lot of H's do not realize she is in an A. Now, that's my opinion. I never did any cake eating, that I'm aware of. My H knew I was as cold as the North Pole and would have nothing to do with him. Wouldn't even stay in the same room with him unless we were with family. I'm sure they could sense the tension! I never cooked for him or anything!

For the most part she has been acting "normal" with the exception of continuing to not be affectionate/intimate- more so it seems with the impending trip coming up in August. She seems to be making some effort on her part to not cause or add to any tension in the house. She is also keeping herself busy with kid activities, etc. in between working out and tanning. Beyond the obvious advantages of keeping the peace leading up to the trip, I'm not sure what else her agenda might be with the attitude- to try to keep me calm like you would an animal you were going to take to slaughter?

I have to admit, I'm somewhat tempted to crash this August vacation for real- either go in the car with the family or fly out for an unannounced visit mid-week... or better yet go pay OM a surprise visit to boot. (Don't they have a face icon with an evil grin?) But that would be considered pursuing, right? All kidding aside, there wouldn't be any benefit to doing that would there.....like maybe putting a damper on sexual contact between W and OM? After this trip, I wouldn't anticipate another one like it until next January, which could buy me/W more time. I really am having a problem trying to work through a likely sexual contact scenario between W and OM...

I do think you are making the right decision to remain in the home. I know it's hard, but I hope you can hang with it.

I am not going anywhere, I put my blood, sweat and tears into this home, not her. She is the one who has strayed, not me. I can hang with the decision to stay in this house all day long. She is the one who needs to worry about staying or not. Obviously I want her to stay, but if the only means of advancing in a positive direction in our MR is for her to be physically separated from me, then I guess that is something we need to talk about in the near future. My C certainly feels that there is an increasing need for physical separation between W and I, however after reading through half of "Walk Away Woman" so far, I am not so convinced.