Not Me...Ever part 2

[SDFoundGirl]

I am trying to not tell son what to say or not say however when he starts a conversation with his Dad by saying "Hey A*****E" I have a huge problem with that...I understand the anger, we all do...I don't however condone disrespect regardless of the circumstances especially from a child.

I will pull back on that though...Maybe hubby is feeling him out, not sure...He still hasn't contacted the little one though...

I don't think telling your son not to speak that way is telling him what to say, I think it is enforcing a standard of behavior.

"Son, I understand you are probably angry with your dad right now, and I am sorry you are having to deal with these feelings. It is okay to express your anger to your father, but it is not okay to be disrespectful. Be honest, be truthful, but profanity is not the way to go about it or be heard."

You might help your son find those words...so, when he starts a convo with his dad that begins, "You A**hole," what does he really mean? What are those things that hurt? How is he hurting? Your son could learn now how to be truthful with his feelings while learning how to detach from the actions of others. "I'm angry because you walked out on me. I'm your son, and you left without a word. I feel worthless and I don't really want to talk to you right now."

Do you see? Help your son speak the truth in a way that honors his feelings. I wish I'd learned that as a child.

SD