I think the cycle you are in feeds on itself.... the only way to break it is to break it! OK, that's profound.
Some of this might not sound nice, but I'm going to try another angle.....
Let's say that you goal is for him to come back.
Let's say that he shows up on your doorstep tomorrow morning. Do you think he is going to be at all interested in staying with the person that answers the door? All of the behaviors that you think drove him away (and I think you are at least partly right about that) are still there. Some of them are worse. And because of the way it feeds on itself, only you can stop it.
If I am thinking right there's a part in DR about thought stopping. I think there was a rubber band around the wrist, and snapping it when the "bad" thoughts come in, or something like that. Maybe you can give something like that a try.
I'm glad your IC talked about thinking about your good points, that was just what I was thinking! Put your mind to it, I think that thinking abiout it when you go to sleep is a great plan.
