I agree with SDFGirl. It is amazing that your W would even consider the idea of not hurting OM over actually hurting her H. Yes, of course she is feeling guilty. Got caught wth her hand in the cookie jar! Never.....never show sympothy for her bad choices in turning to OM or b/c she's having a hard time making up her mind "who" she must hurt. She want to cake eat, pure and simple. You will do the right thing by drawing boundaries and standing up for yourself. I'm not suggesting that you be a cold-hearted jacka$$, but be careful when and on "which" issues you happen to show any compassion. Don't let her play you. I felt guilty also, but it was not enough to make me stop the EA.
The words she choses to use when making statements, questioning, or accusing you of thinking the worst about her....OM, etc., is interesting. Think about it. She's not actually coming clean and "admitting" anything and is able to turn it around to make you sound like the bad guy! At least that is how it seems to me. Some women are very good at doing that.......especially those who know how to "work" their H's. Stay strong.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
