O,

Have you tried detatching at all? I get the feeling that your W is seriously sensing your neediness and that pressure. I think sandi once told me how the WAS can sense it and it just makes the LBS seem pathetic.

I was the same way as you. Then through the advice of others here, I stopped "acting" as if and started showing "as if". Even when she told you the first time that she wanted to reconcile, I have the feeling that you might have jumped all over that and was so relieved that it put additional pressure on her.

I think it's the same with Retrovaille. She mentioned she wanted to go, so just give her the info and leave it up to God. You want to have it be her decision without any influence from you. It's hard as hell, but I learned to just let God do what He needs to do. If the spouse isn't ready, she isn't ready.

I think if you started backing off a little more she'll get closer.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER