A&K, I have been reading along. This is the hardest it can get for you, it -very slowly-changes from immense pain to deep sadness and that brings acceptance for a few things (not necessarily the end of your M)- which -acceptance,is not the easiest of all processes , BUT trust me, it will be OK in the end. I digress, just wanted to say, it gets better... You are strong, K
, BUT trust me, it will be OK in the end. 
