YOu`re so good to even read through all my stuff, never mind post! I really do appreciate it, especially as, having been there yourself you really understand it.
I`m struggling again with two things.
1. Whether we should separate-and yes, I want H to decide that not me to decide that for him but I want to be sure that it`s wht I feel is best for us too. And I`m begining to feel that at his point.
2. How much of his behaviour is my fault. I don`t mean that in a guilt ridden way. Just that I think it might be useful for me to eliminate those parts of my character that drew out the abusive side of H.I`m working on identifying those aspects of me. Specifically my lack of patience, my need to control, my criticism of him,my dull boring mumsy self. I`m sure there`s more.
So I`m praying every day and also adding "I am sorry, please forgive me. I love you. Thank you"
I know I don`t love the Alien H I have now but I miss and love the old H.
Do you mind if I ask what stopped you from separating, Cat?
