Ok where to start. Yes there seem to be many many similarities in our sitches. The decision making--my H has never wanted to make decisions. And then blamed me if something did not go right. And the ones he did make still somehow ended up being my fault. So I have put that on him now to a great extent. He is handling it well to surprisingly but I'm not sure if he realizes what I have done. When something has to be decided, I simply state my OPINION, what I would like, then tell him, UP TO YOU. Sounds like doormat behavior, but doesn't feel like it. When I want something, I just make it happen. For me, not for him. When he hems and haws about something, I simply ask is there a reason you feel this way and then leave him be.
Yes a lot of emotional abuse as well. But as you get stronger, you will feel less like it is that. When I look back at H, I realize a lot of what I feel/felt was emotional abuse, was simply the same behavior that did not bother me when I was stronger within myself. Physical abuse did happen once but only once and I don't have a fear that it will happen again. It's been more than 10 years so....
I have more to share but unfortunately I have to be off to work now, didn't realize I took so long reading LOL and I tend to get long winded but I wanted to let you know I did not forget about you. Have a good day, I'll be back later.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
