Well it looks like I was locked out after 33 pages...Glad I wrote down all the advice I wanted to keep
Hubby came back this afternoon to get something from me...
He asked some questions about me and the boys...
Told me he loved me once again...
Serenity, the next time he does that, step back and look at him incredulously, as if he had two heads or something, and say "Really!" And then just shake your head and change the subject.
Hopefully you all had a wonderful weekend...Mine was ok but long...I had a down day yesterday that even Church didn't fix...It kept piling on until I lost it with my boys and ended up yelling at them both and spanking my little one (I never spank unless it is really warrented)...
Then of course came the guilt and a mini pity party along with the anger that I am doing everything while hubby is doing God knows what...
It pisses me off that he thinks he has no responsibility whatsoever and I can't call him and tell him exactly what I think of him right now...
This to shall pass (I am hoping)
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Lol...The post above mine...I just read it and wanted to give my thanks...
He isn't stepping up right now and it breaks my heart but I am trying so very hard to just keep putting one foot in front of the other...
Some days are better then others...Some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs WTF??? but I carry on with as much grace as I can muster up...
The emotions are still all over the map and I am hoping that will even out soon so I can see what my next step shall be
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I actually saw her this past Thursday and she has doubled the strength for now so once they settle in I think that will help a lot...As with all things, I just need time and patience for it all to work...Answers are something else I could use but they aren't coming anytime soon it seems...I am starting to look for a place of my own which is a bit exciting - I have never lived on my own so it is a little fearful as well...All will be just fine...My faith tells me so
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I know how this is going to come from you but I didn't have access to my computer and it just came out...Please tell me it is fixable (I know I screwed up my DBing) and how to fix it...
I received a text from older son this afternoon...Hubby had texted him asking what's up kiddo?...Son wouldn't answer him no matter how much I begged him to just send a "I'm fine" response...Next thing I know son sends me another text - Hubby came to the house...Came in and tried to talk to son who went off to his room to avoid hubby - Never spoke a word to him...Hubby left, son texted me that hubby was in my room looking in the closet/drawers for a few minutes etc...(WHY?)...
So I called hubby...Asked him what was up (nicely) and he sounded so very sad and boom in I went...He told me he was living alone, He was "happy as happy can be" (What does that mean)...He doesn't know when he is coming home...He loved us etc...We chatted for a few...
Later on (this is what I am speaking of) I texted him (because I felt horrible about how sad he sounded - I know I shouldn't but I did) and let him know that nothing he has done was irreversible...Told him the boys and I loved him/missed him etc...He texted back he appreciated that and that he loved and missed us as well...Then (yes this did just come out of my phone to him) I told him that the door was always open whenever he decided to come back - Where in the hell did that come from? He replied back I love you...Crap...How can I fix this????
Please don't scream at me though...I know I screwed up
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
