But I'd guess that Tea has ALREADY done what you suggest, just as I have.
From what he's written here, he has NOT confronted her in the firm, "this is a non-negotiable item for me" manner that I outlined above. Instead, he has avoided conflict and agreed to a set of terms and promises that leave him silent and miserable.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007