Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[Sanderika]

Good Morning kissak.....

I think you had a great evening!!

Discussing and communicating are very good things!!!

Your approach to the TKD classes are good in that you both have reached an agreement that is fair to all. I am sure son can find another activity. Sometimes you have to look outside of school, like with TKD, up here there isn't much to offer in the elementary grades for children. I always had to go elsewhere, then lots of activities are avail. once they reach middle school.

OK, after reading your last post....I think H wants back in. He is calling tons, he is informing you of his whereabouts...HUGE!,
I think he wants to mow the lawn!!!!, for the most part he is friendly, he is appearing to you as a lost lamb....needy.

I might be way off the mark, I think if you continue your DB plan and remain steady this might turn around. It could still be a ways off, I think it is showing progress. I think he is humbling himself to you. I think that is a good thing.

Snodderly once told a poster, I will always remember this, that our Hs reconnect with our kids first then reconnect with us. I see here that your H is semi connected to your kids and this could be the signs he is attempting to reconnect to you. If this is so this is one of the hard parts to navigate. You have to remain steady all the while making the right choices. For H fear and mistrust are strong, it would be easy for them to run back into the tunnel. It has to be taken slow to ease them out of their fears and time will then break down the wall of mistrust. This is what I am trying, anyway. This is very hard and heartbreaking all at the same time. The rewards are few.

Your H getting a headache, could it be he was actually a bit stressed out after his therapy meeting. Maybe he doesn't eat all that well. This sitch is enough to give one a headache all by itself. Did his day at work go well? Maybe he got overheated. There are lots of posssibilities. YOUR H TELLING YOU ABOUT IT was H looking for sympathy and concern from you. I hope you gave him enough to make him think you care and are concerned about him.

Something you could try about the household chores: What if during some other conversation a few days from now you mention casually all of the things on your "to do" list. As a test, see if H takes the bait and volunteers to do one or more of them for you. If H doesn't volunteer then you know you cannot ask him to do something and that he isn't ready to take that step.

All in all you are making progress, I know how frustrating this is....you are doing good.

Good luck bringing your weight down a little further.

Have a wonderful day, will chat with you later.

Sanderika