WAW1 - Anticipation2

[markhaving probs]

I have not posted for quite a while because I have been trying to get to grips with things as they are.

My decree nisi came through 3 weeks ago, but the financial and child custody issues are proving very difficult. My stbxw is using the children against me which is very hurtful to me. She continues to argue in front of the children but I walk away when this happens. I asked her if I could attend my son's sports day bur she said 'no' as he did not want my W and I to argue. My S7 is really having a hard time, he is very clingy and he has become very introverted and I am extremely worried. My daughter (10) seems to be dealing with it better but he has got surpressed anger which comes out by attacking her brother.

I asked my W if I could attend my daughter's sports day yesterday seeing as she had attended my son's, but again she asked my D and she said she wanted my W there and not me. I feel very isolated and peripheral now and I am very sad knowing that my W is using the children to get to me.

I have still not managed to get a job even though I have been doing some voluntary work for physically and mentally disabled children, but when I told my W what I was doing she said I should be looking for a proper job.

She is very angry but I know this is because things are not going as quickly as she thought it would. My L has said this could go on for another 3 to 4 months which will not please her. My children keep asking me when they can come back home as I am in the marital home and my W and children live at my PIL's house while they are on a 3 month holiday.

I feel sad I cannot tell them but if I leave I will lose any control during this difficult financial and custody period. I am still very down, my W is going out more and more looking for another partner which is hard to hear, while I cannot even think of this even after 7 months.

I hope things do resolve themselves but I miss my children so much.