Bagheera, good points. But I'd guess that Tea has ALREADY done what you suggest, just as I have. I have already confronted my wife on the matter, in no uncertain terms. It did not produce a change.
But then what do you do if both partners prefer to stay together for other reasons? Get a divorce but continue being friends? Does a little paperwork alone "solve" the problem?
This is a situation where every option is unacceptable, but you have to choose one of them. I'm guessing that a lot of marriages are in this situation, but most people don't post about their personal situations in online forums. I suspect that in a great many of these marriages, the HD partner has quietly found other outlets for his/her sexual expression, and those "solutions" go on for many years. In these marriages I doubt the LD spouse spends much effort, if any, to snoop on their partners's extramarital activites. In many cases, they don't care to know, because, in a sense, they've already decided that sex isn't important.
