Well 20 months after the bomb....I am divorced and have custody of my children and life is moving on for us. I have been a single dad since she walked 20 months ago and she has had very little contact with me or her children.
My life is lonely at times but I am dating. My kids and I have a great relationship and I am a much more involved and better father. I have gotten a promotion, a good raise, my kids are making good grades in school and spend lots of time with my family. My lady friend has two great kids and we all get along pretty good together. Life is good and I thank God for carrying me through this.
My wife you ask? She is living in her little studio apt unable to pay her bills, unable to land that perfect job she thought was in reach and unable to find Mr Perfect who is going to make her feel special. I am not being ugly, I am very sad. I still love that woman and care for her deeply. I have to legally drop her off of my insurance and I am dragging my feet as long as I can because I am worried about her. I love her, she is the mother of my children and the wife of my youth. But I had to drop the rope, only she can help herself. That was a hard one for me to come to grips with but I did several months ago and filed for the divorce she had seemed so set on having.
Now she is miserable and depressed and sees life as hopeless. I could not be more sad for her. But I am convinced that unless she gets out of her self centered universe and starts to think of others she will never make her life anything other than it is now. And that is sad, but what is sadder is that I know she knows that is the truth.
So good luck to all of you DB'rs and thanks for the support when I needed it. But my parting prayer is for the WAW's that read here. I pray you do not fall victim to the same demon my wife has and throw away a husband, children, family, future and your history to follow some "feeling" that you deserve more in life and that it can only be accomplished by discarding everything you once cherished.
Thanks for filling us in and letting us know what it looks like "From the other side". I appreciate that you said the good and the bad things about it, becasue that's what life is.
It sounds like you are being incredibly strong since your WAW left you and taking the actions you needed to take (like the D) and moving on, while she is the one mired in the past and what "could have been". Kind of funny, ironic really, that she is the one who seems so stuck and sad now, but she got what she thought she wanted and I hope for you and your kids sake that she finds some peace and happiness at some point.
I wish you continued good luck and happiness and thanks for taking the time to tt us here again!
Me: 36 H: 34 M: 1 yr T: 2 yrs D: filed by H 5/21/09, served 06/08/09, first court date for "maintenance" as well as a plea to restart Marriage Counseling and attend a Marriage workshop 8/24
