20.All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).
I guess this one did need explaining a bit further. It means that as a W (who could be a LBW), you do not need to ask him questions about how he feels regarding the M or anything about the R. When W's are nervous and wondering if H may up and leave at any moment, they may tend to "dig" for answers, but that is a no-no. As tempting as it may be, just don't bring up any topics regarding the MR. If he says anything that implies "working" on the M....then let him do the talking and you try to do the listening and validate what you can.....what you can't agree with, then tell him it's too bad he feels that way about it. But, don't go into a lot of talk.....let him do it. (If this still seems "muddy" then let me know and I'll try to do better at explaining.)
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21.Never lose your cool! Don't let him/her trap you into a fight. WAS are able to do that easily, so be on your guard and refuse to get into a R talk.
Potential WAH's are famous for putting the focus on the W. Making you out to be the "bad guy". Everything is your fault, in their eyes. Your emotions are already raw, so it doesn't take much to get into a R argument. They can trap you so easily by making you upset and losing your cool. Don't fall for his trap! It's actually as if they are setting "traps" to hook you into a R argument.
Another word of caution.....ease up on the praise thing. I think you are doing an over-kill. You must be careful about over-killing anything & everything. He likes it right now b/c he's probably starved for it, but it will seem like you are pursuing--if you don't back off a bit. Okay? You have told him more than once how great his new game is, and now you've called him about it, so I would not just keep on about how wonderful it is. Maybe find something else in a day or two to compliment him about. Does that makes sense? It's a fine line to walk.
Sometimes I may not communicate too well.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
