he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

aww, thanks bluerain, i often think of u, i am fascinated that i "talk" to someone as far away as alaska!

i like to think im doing well, im holding it together.

i miss him, but im realizing that the "him" i miss, isnt him right now. may never be again.

when i see him, i still "see" him, but really, he is a stranger to me now.

i dont understand him, dont understand how he can be with someone so nuts, how he can choose her over our family, over our son.

but really, he never really chose her, he was always lying to her, cheating on her etc.

i guess that makes me feel alittle better, if that makes sense.

i will be ok. i know i will. i will turn out a heck alot better than him when this is all said and done.