Being away from her now...It makes me see the madness that our life had become in as little as 4 or 5 months. The constant tension. I am not angry with my W right now...I almost feel sad for her. I can see her sadness more and more as each day passes without her. The disconnect with reality. The constant idea that the grass is always greener in our marriage. It permeated throughout or 10 years together.
Right now I am mourning the apparent loss of our family as this D becomes fast tracked and I have to fight legally for time with my D's. The reality of the scenario felt even more real as I sat in a lawyers office today. I feel very saddened and hurt for our children right now and what they are going through and are about to go through.
I feel very wrong right now to feel some of these feelings...Am I completely detaching? Am I accepting the reality of the situation as I had not previously? No matter how dark this gets I do not want to give up on my goal: To reconcile with my W.
It just doesn't seem like it would be a reality right now. She seems so bent on moving forward. There is no way that we could reconcile right now unless she woke up?? This person who I talk to now, I just don't know who she is anymore.
