Glad to see you back here. I'll lend you all the support you need.
I know things lot impossible now, living with and AS is chaotic and tiring. You have tried working with it, and now you think you have to end it?... is a separation possible to allow time for you to get back on your feet, and for him to see his problem without you around to blame.
In my sitch, I postponed a separation several times b/c it is a hard thing to do, but things only got worse and out of control. I wish I would have done it sooner. ANyway, my H said that when living with me he was able to blame me - but when his life was the same without me in it - he started to realize that he had a problem. When he had to manage life without someone to do everything and manage everything and cover up - he had to face himself. When I asked for the S, I asked for a few months, he was the one who demanded that any S would be followed with a D and/or at least a one year S. So I let go... for myself, I decided to give it one year and if there was no change then I would get the D.
Well as you know, seven months later, H sobered up and remains that way. What you may not realize is that and AS does not know what is going on... they don't mean most of what they say let along remember. They are in pain and looking for relief, not realizing that relief will not come until they stop drinking. You know the rest.
