If it helps any... b/c of my H's drinking he waffled a lot and quitting was all he knew how to do. My approach was a combination of letting him make the contact first, I would be pleasant for the call, avoid relationship talk, and not encourage any thing else. If he brought up R talk, I would suggest we talk about it later. If he pushed me to meet him I would agree but somewhere public and quick. When he asked to move forward, I gave him an honest... not yet. My requests for him were simple... no drinking, and not arguing, and finally consistency.
It is close to going dark with 180's as I said above. I was trying to shape our R through reinforcement. I also added this - if the convo went well, I let it go on a little longer and the next contact I picked up right away. If the convo was not going well I cut it short, and would purposedly miss the next call 1X.
I would also suggest you read up on Alcoholism to see if there is a match between his behavior and your concerns to the experience you have now.
