Punkt, Puppy, Grace-O, you guys still there? My last post I talked about being prepared for situations when you are aware that they exist or are on the way. Well, close to 2 weeks ago I locked myself out my car while visiting my father who is back in the hospital. The police where I live don't deal with lockouts so I would have had to call a locksmith. Long story short, I called my wife from the hospital phone and she did not answer. Then I sent her two text messages to let her know it was me trying to call and still there was no response. Eventually an officer at the hospital helped me out. I knew my W would eventually call and she did; almost 3 hours later. We talked for about an hour and it was the usual talk about nothing. Then she starts to tell me how blessed she is because she been ok financially w/o a job (unemployment check), no car problems and people have helped her out along the way. Then she tells me about a new job she got to hold her over until the previous job brings them back from the layoff by Jan 2010. She further tells me that she found the job b/c 1 of 4 men that she worked with that were laid off with her called her about the job opportunity. So now they all work together at this other place. She tells me all of them still keep in touch mainly through text. AND I LOST IT. My human side came through, I just could not believe what she was telling me, and so I let her have it. I pretty much told her about herself and let her know that there was no way on God's green earth that she is blessed nor will he let her walk away unscathed by how she has been in this M. I told her how she has no respect for me but she's respecting somebody b/c w/ whatever she was doing she was not able to call me back. I mean I called from the hospital; it could have been something very serious. And these other men she keeps in contact with, I just told her there was no reason I needed to know about her dealings. I'm rambling, but it was heated. I guess she baited me into an argument, but oh well it was something different. I didn't have my tools. I have not been reading DR or nothing; just flying blind I guess.
After I got off the phone w/ her my mind started. Why or who was she with that she could not call earlier that day? I called from the hospital and she recognized the number. We were together when she started her last job, so was she in contact with these men she mentioned while we were together? How does she keep in contact with other men, but not me? Who would tell their husband something like that? Does she think we are buddies now? I told her to spread her wings and that it was really sad and unfortunate and that I don't even know why I bother in a text the following morning. I just could not get if off my mind. It turned into a really bad night for me emotionally. It's just nothing there; no Godliness, no respect, no decency, no ethical or moral values. I have endured and made it w/o her. I love her, but I know I don't need her to live. Don't think I can take much more. I have played my position to the hilt. I have remained a husband. I have reamained faithful and I am really lonely as hell. In the end, I want to be able to look at this with no regrets. I am prepared for whatever and we never even said goodbye.
