I like this letter that TheWifey wrote to her H. In my case it would be divorce papers, not separation papers. None the less, it seemed to actually work for her.
Kevin, it only "worked" if you call it that because I have worked hard to detach and get to the point that I could make that decision. If he walks away and doesn't try, or D's me, then I still stand by my decision.
I always knew if my husband died first I wouldn't remarry. So this is in line with my personal values.
This does not mean I am weak or needy. I am detached. I GAL like crazy. My house is almost completely redecorated. I don't backslide because I don't. It is now a part of me and I am in control of my life.
Kevin, you and your wife are not at the point that you can send this. In fact I think it might only hurt you. I sent this with no expectations. You can't say you could send it with no expectations and mean it.
I'd been feeling like I had no choices in any of this. It was going to happen and there was nothing to change it. I realized he has his choices and I have mine.
HE will make the best choices for him and I for me. This means I chose uncertainty - so I can no longer complain about it. I haven't stopped anything, he could still go forward.
You aren't as far along in the sitch, Kev. Everything she does makes you spin. Do some growing, some detaching, and lots of accepting.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
