d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

I don't want anyone to slap me with a 2x4 but I was really a wreck this past weekend. This is how it started.

H: texted how would you like fish tonight?
I: sounds great
H: i'll bring D home and then go get
I: ok, then you have to eat & run
H: I'd like to stay and put D4 to bed if that is ok?
I: That would be fine.

Dinner was quiet, after dinner H laid in lazy boy while d4 and I played outside. H put her to bed and sat back in recliner for 1 hour. He got up to leave and I walked him to the door. Told him to have a good night. He hugged me and slapped me on butt. I said what was that for? H told me that was a love tap.
Weird. He said he was going to text me later and see if I wanted him to come back over, (after the bar!!!)

I told myself I won't answer if he texts. Well he never did anyways. Found out Saturday through mutual friends that he sat at the one horse bar downtown by himself till 1:30 am. Hope he's reflecting on all this.

H texted me on & off this weekend. Never asked about D4. Oh yea, my weekend we never see him. His weekend he wants to stay at my house, so I can watch our D4.

Sunday am, I texted him (just to be naughty) We would really like you to come to church with us at 9:30. No answer, except 1 hour later he texted me, I overslept. He really wouldn't have gone anyway.

Sunday after dinner, D4 and I went for a long walk, she saw her dad drive down the other road from our house. We live on on hill and can see the crossing road. D4 is devasted, Daddy never comes to see me. He doesn't love me. I want to play with him. Tore my heart out, I loved her up, then texted him.

I: Shame you had to drive near the house, D4 and is upset
H: She'll be fine
I: Why are you a jerk?
H; can't talk now, I'm busy
I: Fine, have fun at strip club - (that was confirmed where he was going)
H: ok; could I come over later when I'm done going out?
I: I love you, she doesn't. I wish I could trust you. NO THANKS!!
H: think about it and I'll text you later, I really want to see you.
I: Ok, text me if you want later

well, he never did text me. I'm glad, I was not going to allow him over. There is just so much hurt and lies. I sat out at my picnic table trying to trap racoons. Had monitor in the kitchen window so I could hear D (she's having alot of nightmares lately) and so I could watch the mother cats take their little kittens out for hunting lessons.

Funny, male cats got what they wanted and the mother cats take care of the little ones. LIFE !!! HA-HA

There are some really great men out there, that love and enjoy their children. I hope someday I will be blessed to find one.