I can certainly identify on the lack of patience thing. That has been one of my big changes.
I didn't address your expectations issue. Unfortunately, this is part of learning a new mindset for a while. You have to show unconditional love - meaning you do something without ANY expectation of receiving something in return. It is hard at first. You will, however, focus your efforts on improving yourself. In that process, you will see that the only person responsible for your happiness is...YOU. Not H or anyone else. So, if you only depend on yourself to make you happy, having no expectations from H becomes easier.
It doesn't mean you stop caring. It means you become much healthier in your outlook on your relationship.
