Gotta Keep Trying 2

[givingitmyall]

Thanks Dia.

I really appreciate your perspective, and I will be floowing your situation. Strangely, I sense that W is warming up to me the last week or so. Just an impression from her tone of voice and the way she seems more relaxed around me. Only time will tell.

There are a lot of great people here who will chime in on your sitch soon.

Thanks again.

[givingitmyall]

Just a quick note on the morning. W got ready for work (I know she is dreading going in today). W had a new pink dress in which she looked great. So, taking some advice from Sandi (thatnks), I told W she looked great in the dress and that that color was very flattering on her. She said thanks, and b/c of the time of the month, she was bloated. She's always had a hard time taking a compliment.

I also told her to keep her head up at work and that all she could do was do her best. She agreed.

Apparently, W is taking me up on my offer to take her car to be serviced (our mechanic is close to my office but not her's) b/c she IM'd me this am to ask which day I could do that. At least she is making a decision - yesterday, I told her I was happy to take the car to our mechanic, but whether she wanted me to or not was HER decision.

She really did look great this morning.

[Gardener]

Hi, buddy,

I told W she looked great in the dress and that that color was very flattering on her. She said thanks, and b/c of the time of the month, she was bloated. She's always had a hard time taking a compliment.

My wife always did the same thing. Whenever she deflected a compliment, I would smile and say, "Thank you, Gardener," which was my way of pointing out the deflection. She would then smile and say "Thank you, Gardener."

[givingitmyall]

Yeah, maybe one day. Now is not the time.

She has always been this way, so it doesn't even phase me.

[Gardener]

Yeah, maybe one day. Now is not the time.

Oh, I know. Wasn't a suggestion. Just chatting.

[givingitmyall]

Yep - I knew you were.

Funny thing this AM. I had just come in from letting teh dogs out as I always do in the morning, when Wpopped out of her roomwith kleenex in hand and asked "can you come kill this spider in here?" If she goes through with her plan, who's gonna kill the spiders for her?

[givingitmyall]

So, no messages from W today. None. No sweat. W is going through job stress, and if she does not want to turn to me, so be it.

Really not letting it get to me. Just raises some low grade anger. So, I went to work out. Weights or run? Oh he!!, how about BOTH. I needed it.

I haven't been rude to W, but I really don't feel like engaging her right now. I haven't asked about her day, and I don't plan to. If she doesn't want to tell me, I don't care.

I'll be fine. Just venting.

Maybe frustrated a little too. But, I suppose this is part of the pattern of good, happy, then ignore me during the day.

Suppose this is pull back day for me.

[AlexEN]

GIMA,

Just a thought. Can you go through a day without thinking about her? Easier said than done, but I still read a lot of "what's she thinking/doing?" in that last post. Have you looked at the thought-blocking stuff that Thinker and CityGirl have posted on other threads? The focus on you is great, but reading between the lines I'm not sure I buy that you don't care. Believe me, I know what you're going through. It's not something you can force, but if you recognize that you aren't really detaching maybe there are some things you could do differently to take you down that path more quickly. I wish I had found such things myself....

[givingitmyall]

Good point Alex. I will check out those threads.

I know my post came off as angry and maybe it was a little. I just am feeling the disrespect today for some reason. Maybe the weekend got my hopes up.

Thanks for the input

[Dia]

Hang in there! I had a rough day, too but much better to vent it here than with her, right? And the working out is a good idea. I need to re-up my gym membership so I have a place to go when I need to do some of that myself.