Have you read up much on emotionally abusive relationships? Seems to me like you're experiencing something like that - mostly in terms of having your H tell you what you think/what's wrong with you. Your H's attitude toward you also brought to mind something my T once said to me..."disowned desires come out as unhealthy addictions in other places" - he was talking with me about the danger of expectations...but it also seems to fit your H's behavior - which is to say...he's been doing quite a job of projecting stuff on to you...disowning some issues, but putting them in your lap and convincing you that you have a problem.
