Your potential message is filled neediness and longing. You keep telling her how hard this is (needy, unable to stand on your own and be a strong man and shows no acceptance of her choices).
Telling her she looks beautiful at this point is pursuit and most probably annoying to her. Its fine to feel emotional but deal with it on your own and dont tell her that - again, it only shows her how much control she has over you and your emotions.
You need to act way more cool, collected, detached and "as if" around her. If you stop and look at the patterns - when you do act that way towards her she tends to reach out to you more. When you act needy and clingy she backs away. So, thinking in those terms what is working and what is not?
