Puppy (I think) told me early on a good guide is to do/say what you think would be appropriate if God were standing next to you.
It just sounds like you are concerned that something you do will cause your H to react a certain way. I really understand why you would feel that way (we all do), but since your H controls how he handles a given comment/action (and IMHO, he is extremely immature in that regard), then HE still has some control over you if he knows he can upset you if he does/says a certain thing. Trust me, he is looking for those types of things and will continue to do them as long as he thinks he can get a reaction out of you. So, just do/say what you think is appropriate if God were standing next to you and you can't go wrong.
