I posted an update on my thread yesterday afternoon, I posted two updates actually and if you go back you will be able to read them if you are so inclinded.
One thing you might consider doing is shifting the way you think a bit about your kids going "home". Right now your home *is* there home and your W's house is their "home". They just happen to have two at the moment so try and think of your apartment as their home too. Your W's house isnt their only home.
As far as an OW/OM dating a married person - you have no idea what your W (or any WAS) is telling the other person. They could be saying they are separated or a divorce is in progress. If I met somebody who said their divorce was in progress I still might hold off until things are finalized but it would be a totally different dynamic than hearing they are married. So you cant guess who is saying what.
