There is no road map that will work for everyone nor are there any guarantees. I have been at this for a while and have read many "stories". The ideas that I have are based on my experiences and are maybe even skewed. However, without knowing too much about your situation, I will try to give you my route through what will undoubtedly be very difficult times for you. I hope this does not sound too cliche... The first thing you should realize is that regardless of what you do or do not do, this "process" (regardless of the final outcome) will take a while. Longer than you imagine. When I was in your shoes, I though that everything I did or anything WAS said had immediate meaning....well it does not....this is a marathon not a sprint. Please remember that...it is very difficult to believe and I did not believe it nbecasue my situation was different. Well as it turns out, the patterns are strikingly similar across these boards. The second most important thing to realize is that you can only really control yourself. Therefore, concentrate on yorself. Use this time wisely. I realize that you probably want to spend every single minute with your WAS right now but she does not. Really concentrate on yourself...fight with all your might to do this....it may be the only positive thing that comes out of all this. Final suggestion (yes I know they are not very specific so far), love your kids. Spend as much time with them as possible and show them that dad will be ok., regardless of the outcome. Be a rock for them...be an example for them and never badmouth their mom in front of them or others (keep the details of your situation to yourself). There you go....I am very sorry you are here. There are some very good people on these boards and personally they have helped me through my journey and some continue to do so. Hope things workout for you....
