So now I'm going to go back to what seemed to be working (being attentive, listening, small shows of affection that I initiate).
Those two examples are in direct contradiction with each other.
How are you defining "working"? I would contend that her "drawing in" was working, and I think you're defining it as what seems to please her, and reduces tension.
"Working" isn't necessarily the reducing of tension. In fact, in the SHORT term, it's often the opposite.
Food for thought.
Puppy
Thanks pup. I think this is where the nuance or "art" comes in. My detachment seems to confirm her biggest fear - that my positive changes are fleeting. She seems to see the detachment as emotional distance, which seems to increase tension and how she feels about me.
See, and I think emotional distance is GOOD at this stage. I don't think it's effective to go from detachment to pursuit, back to detachment, back to pursuit, etc.
Her question is an interesting one: "If you really think my contact with OM is over, then why aren't you acting nicer toward me?" It's like she's calling your bluff.
