WAW Using God

[pigskin]

Pigskin,

I'm a little confused. On the one hand, you say:

I detached, she drew in wondering what was wrong.

and then you say:

So now I'm going to go back to what seemed to be working (being attentive, listening, small shows of affection that I initiate).

Those two examples are in direct contradiction with each other.

How are you defining "working"? I would contend that her "drawing in" was working, and I think you're defining it as what seems to please her, and reduces tension.

"Working" isn't necessarily the reducing of tension. In fact, in the SHORT term, it's often the opposite.

Food for thought.

Puppy

Thanks pup. I think this is where the nuance or "art" comes in. My detachment seems to confirm her biggest fear - that my positive changes are fleeting. She seems to see the detachment as emotional distance, which seems to increase tension and how she feels about me.

It's a bit of a catch 22 in my mind - trying to show an emotional connection without pursuing, while also laying back and risking it looking like there is no change at all.