So now I'm going to go back to what seemed to be working (being attentive, listening, small shows of affection that I initiate).
Those two examples are in direct contradiction with each other.
How are you defining "working"? I would contend that her "drawing in" was working, and I think you're defining it as what seems to please her, and reduces tension.
"Working" isn't necessarily the reducing of tension. In fact, in the SHORT term, it's often the opposite.
