K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Orich,

I have been in those situations to with W. It is hard when you see everyone else being a couple and your W is having a good time without you and you are just sitting there wishing you were a couple again. It's not easy.

25,

It seems that you and Bob are in agreement on this anniversary idea and I am still praying on it as I don't want to screw anything further up. But if I could plant a seed, it would definitely be worth a try if I do it correctly.

Last night I asked W if she could pick up the girls at 7:30. She showed up and got them. She looked so good again. Black high heal sandals, a short summer dress, plenty of cleavage showing, hair done up. I understand what Orich is saying on his thread about the urge hitting. It was hitting hard last night. I miss the intimacy with her.

Anyways, I loaded her van and hugged the girls. I almost broke down in tears. My eyes watered up and I turned away and just waived goodbye to my W as I headed back up to my apartment. I heard her say bye. I turned back to look at my girls and one last look at W then went inside.

About 10 minutes later I get a phone call from W saying that she was sorry for being late and that I am certainly welcomed to call the kids anytime I want this week. I said thank you and I will. She told me to have a good evening and I said the same to her.

I went out to dinner with 2 friends and enjoyed the evening. It has become my every other Sunday ritual to help start off my week after losing my kids. I came home after and listened to a sermon on my computer and then went to sleep.

I'm feeling kind of down today and so I prayed some more to have my M and family restored in time.

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was feeling very emotional and so tired of this situation. I need to start lifting weights. My kids pointed out to me that mommy like Dwane "The Rock" who is very muscular also. She is really into guys with muscles. I'm going to start this week.

No, she doesn't argue about importance of salvation. She is just of the mentality she will be forgiven for anything she does so she is going to do what makes her happy.

I did take my kids to a pool party yesterday that got rained out. They had fun before the rain kicked in. Then we got home and I spent time with each of them on the computer watching them play there wizard101 game. They were each showing me what they do and what kind of wizard they are. It was fun. I just enjoyed sitting next to them and they enjoyed explaining it to me and showing me.

As far as the OW, I did not ask her out and will not. She isn't an OW for me. I just didn't know what to make the way she acted.

As far as GAL, I have something going on each night this week. I get my kids this week Thursday night and Saturday night, then next week Monday and Tuesday night, then Thursday night thru Sunday.

I think I am in a bit of a funk again and I have to work to get out of it again.

Kevin