M25, I have been trying to catch up on your stitch. Apparently I got off track when I was having that computer trouble and never got back, so I appologize for that.
M, I want to say something here.....woman to woman, okay? But, first I want you to realize that I am exactly like you when it comes to thinking that "discussing problems is the soloution". However, I have learned it isn't always the solution! So, with that said, let me tell you sweetheart, you simply are talking your H to death!! You talk waaaaaay too much. Did you not read about that in the DR book? Hey, I understand how hard it is! Really, I do. But, has it gotten you anywhere so far?
Another thing I see that you and I have in common is that you lay everything out about your H in the discussions....trying to make things workable. For example....in the C sessions when he felt you were almost attacking him.....then he gets offended and he can't see anything but the offense. So, you've once again cut off your nose to spite your face.
I just cannot express to you enough to back off with the R talk to him and "live" your life as best you can. Stop trying to analyze his every word & move. Stop obessing about him you every waking moment and think about you & the kids. Of course you make the most of the time you have together. But why would he look forward to being at home or getting a call from a woman he thinks will bang him over the head about all his faults. He never knows when you are going to have another "talk" with him. Honey, I've been there.....I know. My H even got to the place he's say, "This isn't going to be another one of those talks, is it?" You would have thought that would have shut me up, but did it? Of course not! So, I am trying to tell you in a nice way to learn before I did.....to shut up. That is not the solution to the problems.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
