I don't trust anything she says in regards to the marriage. All she's saying is "alimony this and alimony that". For one, alimony should be temporary at best. She can get her own education and make her own money. Even if she didn't cheat you don't owe her payments for the rest of her life. If she wanted that, she should be staying with you and making a go at it. I think she'll be nice and say the right things as long as she thinks it'll get her alimony from her sugar daddy. Doesn't it concern you at all that she only talks about that? It's like dating a girl that only talks about wanting to find a rich husband. I find it a turn-off. My wife only wanted gone...she didn't have interest in being supported...yours only has interest in the $$$$
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
My W told me she has a consultation with an attorney on Wednesday. I put together a packet of information containing information about income, expenses, assets, debts, etc. Smiled, gave it to her and said -
I am sure you will need this information for you meeting. Let me know if you need anything else.
I think she was shocked as this is a 180 from my normal pouty behavior.
Felt good.
Me 38 / W 37 M 14 yrs S 11/S8 First Bomb: 3/6/2009 EA Second Bomb: 6/4/2009 PA Same House Separate Rooms
The locations and dates for Retrouvaille are listed on their website, www.helpourmarriage.org. The right time to bring up Retrovaille? Whenever the spouse shows interest. It is important for both of you look at your options and not quickly divorce without giving other things a try.
I agree with what Sara says. If your W is not currently active in an A, and is interested, Retrouvaille is appropriate. The fact that she is insistent on D right now doesn't change that. If you have her interest, don't wait.
Good night last night. No R talk. W was in a stable good mood. She did say something interesting.
She mentioned that she was wishing she hadn't been working so much (she recently started working a job after 10 years at home) because she missed taking the kids around this summer.
I'm not reading too much into it, but I think I'm seeing some small steps.
Also, I'm nervous about our MC session this morning. I'm going to remain calm, cool, and detached. We are riding to MC together, I'm sticking to my DB guns.
Wish me luck.
Me 38 / W 37 M 14 yrs S 11/S8 First Bomb: 3/6/2009 EA Second Bomb: 6/4/2009 PA Same House Separate Rooms
MC Counseling session didn't go very well. MC talked to my W first and then me.
Basically, MC advised me that my W wants a divorce and he recommended a "collaborative" D. Asked me when I wanted to sit down with a Collaborative D and start the process of dissolving the M.
I told both of them that:
A. I wasn't interested in a D B. I wasn't getting rid of the emails that prove my W had an A and will keep her from getting Alimony. C. I wasn't committing to following this process of dissolving M.
At the end of the session, he said he would recommend we continue seeing him so we could work through the process of D.
I chuckled and said no thanks. $180/hr for this?
My question is: My W is seeing an attorney tomorrow. I plan to continue DBing. Any other suggestions at this point? I would like to get us to Retro, but not sure she would be willing now.
Me 38 / W 37 M 14 yrs S 11/S8 First Bomb: 3/6/2009 EA Second Bomb: 6/4/2009 PA Same House Separate Rooms
My question is: My W is seeing an attorney tomorrow. I plan to continue DBing. Any other suggestions at this point? I would like to get us to Retro, but not sure she would be willing now.
You just drew the line in the sand, she is now going to push back hard. Don't get baited into alimony, D, custody, or R talks right now. Don't bring up Retro right now. Did you hire a attorney? Don't you move out or leave your bed. Pray a lot for wisdom, discernment and the Holy Spirit to move in your wife. You can handle it. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
