On a side note--Mach--we have been at this about the same amount of time, this past week, when I talk to H, I have had this overwhelming desire to tell him "I love you". It just pops into my head and I have to bite my tongue to keep it from spilling out. Hasn't happened in a long time because I know I shouldn't. Any thoughts? Maybe I should add that I think I am finally watching him slide to the bottom. I have noticed that the replay behaviors have become practically zero in the last month or so and can see the depression setting in. I don't know if I should be relieved or not LOL. Just sitting on the side watching the rollercoaster go down and down and down.
Hey Cat,
Sorry for the delay, I usually am gone from here over the weekends.
This is a tough question, and the answer will ultimately have to be made by you. But, my thoughts are....
I think that every once in a while, you almost have to throw that out there...Yes, it is pressure, and guilt, and all the bad things that you are NOT supposed to do. Will this be the first anti-DB thing you have done ? Probably not...
Where he is in this process ? You will never know...and shouldn't focus on ....
Remember, the stages DO NOT go 1-2-3-4-5-6...
They can come and go and change at any time....
BUT....At some point in this, I do believe that the MLCer looks to the LBS for some kind of guidance through this. To be the example of what they need to do to pull through...
They will not ask, but they are watching you, very closely...and will look to see how YOU interact with people and things and situations...That's why your changes need to be real and for you....
I have thrown an ILY out there...and with mixed results depending on where she is on that day...I don't do it often, and won't do it too often, although I feel it daily.
I would say, if the timing is right, and it won't bring up a relationship talk started by you. Then throw it out there and see what happens. If it goes terrible ? Don't do it again.
Just make sure...and this is the most important thing...
