It seems to be always followed by,...but, I don't deserve to be punished for the rest of my life (no alimony due to PA) because of a stupid mistake that lasted 3 months.
A rape or a murder takes mere minutes. Is one not "punished" for the rest of their life (or a good chunk of years) as a consequence for the foolish choice to inflict one of these?
And yes, I consider adultery tantamount to the rape of the marriage, in fact in some ways it's WORSE since at least a rape is often inflicted by a stranger, whereas this is someone who is supposed to love and cherish you, and forsake all others for.
I think your position should be "Look, I don't want a divorce, but if it happens, there are going to be consequences for your decisions that I won't rescue you from."
You need to avoid these R talks -- big DB no-no. It takes TWO to have a conversation, and you should be saying "I'm sorry, I just don't want to talk about this right now." She is baiting you, and constantly looking for REASSURANCE, and frankly that's not your job.
