Had a nice weekend with the girls at the lake - until I got home.
I didn't call the H all weekend. He called when we were on our way home to let me know they'd be over at his sister's.
He was pleasant enough when they got home (I'd been on a cleaning spree). He threw me off and said he wanted to go to the lake next weekend. Now keep in mind - Friday is his birthday. He said you've been there 3 weekends in a row. Why are you surprised having I been going all along? I said I thought you'd want to spend your birthday with me. He said it's just another day. You spent your birthday weekend with your girlfriends.
I was texting with one of them last night and sent a What do you think message? to my H inadvertently. So I told him it was about whether to start going to counseling every other week. I should have let things alone. But I brought up the fact that we've still not talked. So of course he thinks we talked about him all weekend and that know I think I'm not to blame for everything because of talking with them all weekend.
He got very angry and said I don't know what there is to talk about. That's why I quit going to counseling - we kept rehashing the same thing - beating a dead horse. If we're going to have to keep talking about everything every night then I'm done. There was another comment where he said maybe I should just move out.
He also said why can't we just take it one day at a time? There'll be times when we take two steps forward only to take three steps back.
So now I'm worried that I'm back to square one - that he's rethinking whether or not to work on the marriage.
I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he said there's nothing I need or want. So now I don't know what to do about that. Initiated s this morning and was turned down - not sure why I did that.
So now I don't know what to do! It also came across to me last night that he was saying that he thinks I'm to blame for everything and I'm the one who needs to keep on working on things. I haven't been able to sleep all night and just feel sick to my stomach!
So I guess I just go back to living my life the best I can. Avoid all relationship talk and see what happens?
