I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

Journaling:

so im feeling much better now after emailing back and forth with the H, we got a lot of feelings out that we've been wanting to say and he's told me more about this life than ever before (since he left). im really glad to hear about it but it just sucks cause i know hes having a really hard time with his living situation. but he's a big boy, he can handle it. i would love to help him but i know that he doesnt want my help..well he said "if i dont want your help, its not because i dont want your help, its because i need time to sort through my thoughts"

i appreciate that and i wont smother him anymore with offers to help. i understand more now about how he feels. and althought i thought i ruined everything by contacting him, it turned out to be positive. i think this is what i really needed to really start moving on. im ready now. i wasnt so ready before when i started DBing, but im confident that i am ready now. ready to move on and GAL, ready to embrace my life again and get back on track. i will be patient from now on, and i will not let the waves of sadness dictate how my day will turn out. i will try even harder to get over the pain, even though i have to go for a walk crying, ill do it, even though i cry while vacuuming my room, ill still do it. i wont let it get to me anymore.

im ready for my love affair with life again.