Ashlee, maybe I'm wrong, but it almost seems like your H is waving his EA in your face (you too, Pigskin, sort of). It's like a little boy begging for attention.
So, my instinct here is to completely ignore him when he's being an idiot (like with the texts) and to be more attentive when he's out of alien mode. Continue to call his affair what it is if he brings it up, but almost as if you are bored with having to repeat yourself, and then change the topic.
Maybe I'm wrong, but this is the vibe I'm getting...I'd like to hear what Puppy or Sandi think about that as they're usually on the mark.
Now, what are you doing to take care of YOU? How are you finding joy each and every day? In the thick of things with my H, I found it helped to do at least one thing every day that brought a smile to my face. I also kept a gratitude journal to remind myself of the many blessings in my life...even if on particular days it was just that I'd been able to get out of bed and dress myself.
The fact that your H keeps trying to get your attention and get you to spin (and freaking out when you won't answer him and give him that attention) is good I think...it means he cares.
OW is just a gooey, nasty, dirty bandaid. Put that vision in your head...she is not as good as he think she is...or what you think she is. I found out recently that my H's former OW had actually been charged as an accessory to murder at one point in her life and received immunity to testify, and here I was thinking I was clearly dog poo because H preferred her fake goodness to me.
All is not what it seems, you know?
Just take care of you. You are valuable, and you are okay with or without your H. You're going to be just fine in the end because you are doing some hard work looking at your life right now.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
