Not sure if this is MLC but...

[dmkdmkdmk]

I wonder. I think we were both ill-prepared to be parents... Yes, we had been together for about seven years when I got pregnant with our daughter, and we were tentatively planning to start a family that year after he came home from basic... mostly because that's what everybody else seemed to be doing and we wanted to have kids out of the way by the time we hit 30.

It was something on a list to be checked off. Not something either of us regret doing, but we both were always kind of iffy on kids. And we never gave ourselves a break in between me finishing my BS and him joining the National Guard.

I think also H has some unresolved issues with his own father's death 9 years ago. He's always seeking out an authoritative male presence - and he has a former boss that he's known for most of the time that we've been together (boss is my parents' age, mid-50's). Boss & wife always seemed to have a fun life, lots of money, great kids... but boss is an alcoholic. They finally separated this year, now that the youngest is 16. I don't think that H understands that the reason for the unhappiness in their relationship is probably more due to boss's drinking and looking for the greener grass, rather than actually being married...