I have been posting and reading recently on this site. I read Divorce Remedy. I think that the strategies for self-improvement and detachment in the book make a lot of sense. There are a lot of well-intentioned people on this site. I am finding this site to be a comfort and a source of strength.
I am looking for input from someone who has undergone the journey from the point at which a divorce looked certain and who has returned to a healthy marital relationship. Maybe people who have done that no longer feel a need to post items on this site. I don't know. I would like to hear some examples from folks who have utilized the divorce busting strategies and who have reconciled with the spouse.
M 57 W 52 Married 12, Together 14 No kids by this marriage 2nd marriage for both
There is a forum of Another Divorce Busted. Most of the people who had their D busted have moved on. Some stayed on the board for a long time helping encourage others, but after so long....then they finally would leave.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I can say that it worked for me. November of 2002 is when my H gave the I'm not in love with you speech, we danced around C for awhile and then in September of 2003 he moved out and we were separated until early 2003. October of this year we celebrated our 20th anniversary. I posted under this name and Dagny, I'm not sure if you can get back to the early threads to see all that transpired. It was bad and painful. I'm back on to help my sister, Ashlee. I know I made some friends on the thread at that time who did put the Ms back together and others who's M did not survive, but they did. I know Ellie (KML) is still around, she is in piecing, I think, and Sage is also around from way back then. It isn't easy, but it is worth it.
cville if you stick to the threads in Newcomers you won't find too many where the M is better. I found it useful to go to piecing or success stories and follow those peoples stories from the beginning. It gives you a good understanding on an almost day to day basis of what they went through and what they did to make their sitch better.
Once you get in the piecing forum click on their name and go back to their first post and follow it from there. Then you can decifer the advance on here from what you think you should follow and what you think may hurt your sitch. If you do this don't just look at one and say this is the same as mine I will do the exact same thing and also do look for one that looks the easiest to do. You will probably have to take a little from each one to get the best results as every sitch is different.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
I have been posting and reading recently on this site. I read Divorce Remedy. I think that the strategies for self-improvement and detachment in the book make a lot of sense. There are a lot of well-intentioned people on this site. I am finding this site to be a comfort and a source of strength.
I am looking for input from someone who has undergone the journey from the point at which a divorce looked certain and who has returned to a healthy marital relationship. Maybe people who have done that no longer feel a need to post items on this site. I don't know. I would like to hear some examples from folks who have utilized the divorce busting strategies and who have reconciled with the spouse.
DB worked for me. My marriage is much smarter, healthier and mature. Dbing is not easy. Eventually your spouse has to be willing to work on the relationship as well for a reconciliation. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks for the info. I will go to the Piecing forum and try to do some reading. If you want to share more from your personal experiences, I would be greatful. If you have any links to posts that you may have made in the past, please send them along.
M 57 W 52 Married 12, Together 14 No kids by this marriage 2nd marriage for both
That's what I suspected. I looked on the forums page for the thread. Do you have a link for "Another Divorce Busted?" Tx.
Click on the Forum List and it's the fourth one down from the top. Everyone in "Piecing" has not neccessarily reached the finish line. There is still work in Piecing. The two forums are completely different, IMO.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
