I hope so. It's just so hard to get your hopes up and then have them just trashed! But it's me and the choir here, I know!
Tonight, H and his partner finished 2nd. He was happy about that. His facebook status was something along the lines of golf, great weather, great friends, a fun night last night, no drama.....does it get any better than this? So that was pretty great to see.
He came over to a friends house for dinner tonight with me and S. He was tired, much like me. My facebook status "Heavy is the head that DRINKS the crown!" LOL!! When we were packing up to leave S was telling him "Ok Daddy, you go home, and tomorrow Mommy will take me to your house and we can play, right Daddy?" and he said it several times.....H will be here tomorrow night as it's his night with S so it will all work out, they'll just be here not at Daddy's. (Which I still hate that we "Daddy's" and "Our house" but whatever, I think it's been good for us too.) When H was saying goodbye to me with a big hug, he got teary eyed.....not horribly so, but upset for sure. So I looked at him and said "Look, no one died here. This eff up didn't end with anyone physically hurt or dead. What happened to our neighbors....people effed up and someone died.....we're fortunate....soooo fortunate. We can fix this....that kind of eff up, that can't be fixed. We'll be ok, you know? I believe this was our path. As hard as it's been we had to go through this.....but everyone is still around to fix it." He smiled and gave me a big kiss and hug and I said bye and left.
Side note: almost a year ago, our neighbors who are Chinese lost their 4 year old daughter in a daycare fire. Turns out there were two subs there that day and only two teachers. They were way below ratio for the number of kids vs. adults. There was a ceiling fire. All the kids were napping. They go outside and one of the boys asked where my 4 year old was...turns out, she didn't get out. She later died at the hospital, smoke inhalation. They came to America because they wanted multiple children. They were expecting their second child three months from the tragedy that killed their daughter. After he was born, they left to back to China. All very very sad...so much I can't imagine.
But we'll see.
H has again told me OW is dead to him and there will never be contact between them again. This is a boundary he's set. He also says "I don't know if we can work it out......" I say nothing. He said this weekend "I don't think we can trust each other...." I said "I don't know either, but it's not something we're going to figure out tonight, this week or next. It's going to take a while." (Then I proceeded to drink like I have a freaking problem. !)
Alright--any suggestions thoughts, whatever, please feel free to share. By no means do I plan to move to "Piecing" any time soon.
!)
