I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

hi hopeful:

thanks for the support. ive been reading your thread and have been meaning to post, will do soon! i feel we are similar since we're both in our 20s and dont have any kids. i hate to say this, but i feel like because i dont have any kids, its harder to get the WAS back. i dont mean to be negative, but ive noticed that most of the success stories that i've read involve children. but of course, i shouldnt look at it that way but thats how i feel and i feel like its gonna be a lot harder on us because theres less for the WAS to worry about. im sorry, i know its horrible that im thinking this way and i hope it doesnt offend you or get you down, i just felt i needed to get that off my mind as it has been in my head for a long time and i didnt want to say anything..

the urge is still there to email him but has lessened a bit. still extremely frustrated and worried that i'm not going to hear from him again. its been nearly 2 weeks since i last heard from him thru email. i cant believe its been over 5 weeks since i've seen or spoken to him. it feels like an eternity. i don't know how much more i can take. i know its only been 5 weeks and people have gone thru so much more. but i havent seen or spoken to him AT ALL and it seems most people here at least get to see or speak to their WAS. i WISH that he would just call me, even if its to say something mean, but im not lucky enough to even get that.

it just gets so frustrating to try and move on with my life and try to GAL. my living situation does not help my sitch at all. having to live at home with the parents, who are barely supportive and never talk to me, having no money and trying so hard to find a job, not being able to get around on my own because i dont drive (and dont have anyone available to teach me or money to get driving lessons) and not having friends in the same city. it gets me down and it just makes it that much harder to try and deal with my sitch.

i wish he had a desire to talk to me, see me or something, to talk about the divorce even. i dont even know if and when he's filing. i dont want to be surprised in the next few days with divorce papers but i feel like thats going to happen and that he wont have the decency to let me know when he files. what happened to my H? where is he? how does he become a stranger just like that? how have i come to mean so little to him? i need to stop these thoughts, i know. but its making me feel slightly better to get it out here.

what do i do if i dont hear from him in a month? do i give up? because i dont know if i can do another month, its already been 5 weeks and that was a lot to go through. i just want a sign or something. i just want to know that i will hear from him again in the future. the unknown is wrecking my head.