Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[hoosiermama]

Okay, I need help. I need to regroup. It feels like I've hit a roadblock. I am going to re-read the LRT in DR today, which is where I started at. I'm also going to go over the detaching information (I printed out the article GIMA suggested and stuff Sandi wrote). I think where I have gotten stuck is I have been focusing too much on the M and him, not at all on me. I do need to start living for me and S. I need to detach because if I don't, I'm not going to make it.

exactly! and it's hard not to focus on the M and on him. but it will only wear a rut in your brain if you do. every day, do one thing for yourself that brings you peace, comfort, lights you up, whatever. devote some time to a good book, watch something on TV, go back to a craft or hobby that you once enjoyed, have a "spa night" for yourself and use all your senses--music you like, scented candles, glass of wine if you like, scented lotion, do a manicure, face mask, condition your hair, paint your toenails. Involve all your senses, and later you can look back at your nice nails and remind yourself you were worth it, just for you. For me, doing something creative is always helpful because it takes me out of my head; also, I tend not to devote much time to myself, but when I'm doing something crafty I tend to lose track of time. for me it's very therapeutic. connect with your spirit--meditate, pray, read scripture (yes, psalms is an excellent place to start--they can be very emotional and cathartic). all of those things can help you focus on the moment, focus on you, and not on things beyond your control that increase your anxiety.