So. H invited me to something called Casino Nite at our country club. (No, we aren't rich, we just play rich people on tv! J/K. He was able to join because the club was doing a member drive years ago and waived the deposit.....and it helped at the last casino nite that we won a free year! Whoo-Hoo!) Anyways, big deal, all the spouses are there as this night is in conjunction with one of the biggest weekend tournaments of the year. Everyone dresses up, lots of food, drinking and fun. Well, it was an even bigger deal for me that H wanted me to go because that meant I would be there as his "date" in front of all the golf buddies. Things have gotten around the club because H is living on the course now in a townhouse.....and folks know S and I are not living there too. I got a new dress. Went to drop S off with a girlfriend who said I looked good enough to eat! I get there and get lots and lots of compliments. H was very very pleased to see me.
Before we go in to the big party room, H, a very very drunk H starts R talk....not sure why then and there but he does. I've learned in the past that I get a lot of info out of him when he's in such a state....he says "We'll never trust each other again...." Then he says "When we work it out my parents will be mad, but they'll just have to deal with it..." (In order to justify to them and probably himself what he was doing, I became the devil. So I know they don't hate me, but they will be shocked if we work this out.....that's how much crap H talked about me.) Then he says "I'm avoiding calls from my lawyer....they have the papers ready...." To which I said "Take the call, go get the papers....." He asked "Is that really what you want me to do?" I said "I want you to realize you can't threaten me out of the blue for no reason with weird crap like that....do what you have to do to make you happy, because I sure as hell will do what I need to do to make me happy...." He just smiled and really I am pretty sure that was just a stupid lie, I think it was his attempt to keep control of this situation which he's had way to much of from the very start. Anyways, he goes back to the trust issues....I said we work on it or we are dead in the water. I've worked this hard, I can continue. I can't tell you what to do. However, you aren't going to compare my integrity to OW's. He said "You are right about that.....you win hands down....." He basically is concerned I lied about things related to OW. Whatever.
So we go in, he says to his buddies "I'm a pain in the ass, but she still wants to take care of me....as long as she wants to do that, I'm gonna let her...." I just about crapped my beautiful dress. Then he's introducing me to some guys I've never met and calls me "The mother of my child". I just chuckled. I let that go since I realize he's got to work that out for him. Mother of my child. Good grief.
Lots of his friends took that opportunity to say How are YOU? Really? I told a couple that I know pretty well "I love my husband, I love my son, I am going fight and see where we end up." Both said "Good. We love you guys and want to see you make it." One told me that when it all started some of them said he was being stupid to his face. It didn't go well. But one of the guys said something to H last week about being stupid for not working this out and H responded with "How do you know we aren't working it out?" The golf buddy said everyone has been very hopeful for us since then and when they found out I would be there for Casino Nite everyone was looking forward to seeing me.
And it was a very warm reception for me. Several people went ahead and told me they were thrilled to see me there.....and didn't say much more but I knew what they meant and it was just nice.
H was attentive and nice to me, and I gave him his space, but would check on him while he gambling to see if he needed drinks or whatever and he would give me chips to hang onto for the drawing. He won free carts for August, he was very happy.
The rest of the night was good. He kissed me good bye this morning to finish up the tournament, which he's close to the lead so let's hope he wins.
But over all, a very good insightful night. There were only a couple of people I was honest with, the rest I played happy stupid and everyone was cool.
I hope the rest of my DBer's had a great night too.
